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Sally was a one legged dancer
she danced up on the stage
in the vaudeville shows of '23
you know Sally was all the rage
Sally was a one legged dancer
she danced and she hopped around
late one night when Sally was drunk
she up and fell right down
Bruno was midget - Bruno was a creep
he never minded bendin' down
and under ladies skirts he'd peek
now Bruno that darn midget
he'd cuss and he'd drink and spit
he'd stomp you toes and bite your knees
he'd grab yo mamma's tits
Nunu danced behind a bubble
Nunu showed her skin
when Nunu's act hit the stage
all the fella's would all crowd in
Nunu she wore pasties
and she'd spin them round and round
though she could have any man she liked
she made love to the clown
Now the clown he is our hero
he's the only one we got
he makes us smile and he makes us laugh
he gives us happy thoughts
now the clown he's still a clown
and a clown he'll always be
he might be happy or he might be sad
he might be you or me
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The most expensive place on earth
well it's right inside your heart
how I'd love to stay but due to cost
I'll have to part
If I had gold enough to live in your little cozy room
with all it's diamonds and it's pearls
I'd do away with all of my gloom
So now I go from here to live
in a place I can afford
It's a place outside your heart
it's a place outside your door
I live life empty handed
a bag of karma hangs by my side
from your heart I take my fall
now that I've let go of all of my pride
One day I had you
the next day you were gone
spent what little money I had
now it's time for me to move on
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I saw a Psychedelic Midget at the ATM
he caught my googley eyes just a checkin' out him
he said brother when I trip you know I don't have far to fall
I said that's OK 'cause when I trip, you know, I like to get small
Get small with a midget get as small as you can
Get small with a midget get tiny man
Get small with a midget get as small as you can
Get small with a midget he'll be your biggest fan
Now me and the midget we were sharin' a drink
just a little small talk and some time to think
drinkin' mushroom tea from a little tiny cup
he said from way down here
everything is lookin' up
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I could walk alone sometimes
and I'd just think to myself
I think about the good Lord and I think about my health
I think about the whiskey I'd drink down by the sea
and I think I'd be much happier
if you were next to me
remember when we lit that fire
and we played down by the lake
you can feed a duck and talk to God
and a picture you can make
you can take a picture of the waterfall and the fire
and I will take your heart
and I'll wear it like a flower
We were on the road together
we were both headin' down south
through a hurricane, across Pontchartrain
there was never any doubt
and we both made it safely
'cause a friend a friend must see
and I know that I'm much happier
when you're here next to me
Well I hope that we grow old together
like a pair of worn out socks
and our toes poke through
and our hair turns grey
but we never do get lost
one day God will call me to that great celestial sea
and I'll lie there in my grave
and you'll lie next to me
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You think you're broken so you get fixed
you fix yourself in the arm
Now you're dreamin'
dream yourself on a farm
it feels so good you wanna fix yourself in the arm
You think you're thirsty so you pour a drink
you just need a little time alone
some time to reflect
time to think
time to pour yourself one more drink
You think you're boring, yea, you need a fresh line
so you step into the bathroom
do what you do
do it one more time
they all wanna talk to you
so you do another line
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6. |
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When you decide which face to wear
will your mirror then be whole
when I decide if I really care
from there where do we go
millions of people - one moment in time
who's the enemy - who's your best friend
a bird singing alone and he's hoping to find
the voice of another reflecting him
Paper trees are there for the burning
on sacred knees you know you're there for the learning
and you learn
I thought I saw a smile in your eyes
maybe I was just hopin'
don't walk away thinking I'm closed
because my door is always wide open
folks breeze in and folks breeze out
some folks breeze by for a song
like every cool breeze they all come and go
one day, they're just gone
A fleeting thought leaves a hole in my mind
now I'm left with nothing to say
my thoughts are harsh but my words are kind
it's all part of games people play
the curtain falls and the lights go up
left on this stage all alone
no script to follow just making it up
hoping to find our way home
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Stop chasing pretty girls
stop drinking down that red wine
Stop chasing pretty girls
stop drinking down that red wine
When the Lord calls you home
you ain't gonna have no more time
The Lord, he'll punch your card
at the drop of a dime
This life seems like it's long
'til you you done reached the end
This life seems like it's long
'til you you done reached the end
When you leave this world, son
you go alone without your friends
When you leave this world, man
you gonna be judged for all your sins
They hung a man up on the cross there
they hung him up just to die
They hung a man up on the cross there
they hung him up just to die
What you heard about that man
well most of that was all just lies
and if you wanna know the truth
you got to see this world through that mans eyes
I'm going back to the pasture
I'm going back just to roam
I'm going back to the pasture
I'm going back just to roam
There won't be a house in this world
that this soul can ever call home
and when the good Lord he calls me
I'll dive into that great unknown
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8. |
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Sit by the river I pick my toes
I pick my fingers might pick my nose
I'm going home once again
I'm going home once again all alone
Ain't got no money
Ain't got no job
Ain't got no gun
Guess I can't rob
I'm going home once again
I'm going home once again all alone
Drink down the whiskey
Drink down the bar
just walk away
gonna leave my car
I'm going home once again
I'm going home once again all alone
Could be a prince
I'm just a frog
sweet girl come kiss me
I'll be your dog
I'm going home once again
I'm going home once again all alone
In a western Kentucky town a little boy runs around
plays in the dirt and corn no shoes and pants are worn
he dreams, little boys do
he dreams of the day he might meet you
Off in the world he goes buys him some city clothes
learns the things he don't know
he watches the neon glow
the world just makes him blue
and he still dreams of the day he might meet you
Sit by the river I pick my toes
I pick my finger gonna pick my nose
I'm going home once again
I'm going home once again all alone
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Now we kickin' back to the old school beats
kick off yo shoes, free your feet
walk through the grass get the dew in your toes
smell the fresh air - suck it right up your nose
fuck it, get naked take off all your clothes
learn to enjoy life's highs and lows
like a kid on a swing you're goin' forward and back
you ain't got nothin' - ain't nothin' ya lack
take the weight of the world and let it roll off your back
and when your ladies bendin' over give her ass a smack
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Over the last ten years I've written about 60+ songs. In my continual state of procrastination I keep saying I'm gonna do something with this music one day. Having reached 40 I can't be too sure how much longer I can afford to procrastinate. So I decided to record a handful of songs to GIVE AWAY on my 40th birthday. I originally started with about 25 songs that I thought I might record but time, like life, runs short. So I decided on 14 songs for the 14th of February.
These songs were recorded with cheap instruments and a cheap microphone. I mixed them and mastered them myself on my Mac using Logic Express. I am still tempted to edit and try to refine them but the fact is my voice is never gonna be that good and my cheap bass and guitar will always have bad intonation. So what the hell, here they are for better or worse.
released February 14, 2010
All songs written by John Valentine.
All instruments played by John Valentine
All programming, recording and mixing by John Valentine
Artwork by John Valentine
So if you like it or hate it, it's all John Valentine's fault.
